Managing Anger In Your Marriage in Dubai
Do you feel angry at your partner? Are you at each other's throats all the time? How long since you had your last fight?
Sure, arguing can be healthy, but too much anger can ruin a relationship. But how much is too much, and when should you start worrying? There's no question that anger in marriage can be tough. Read on to learn how to recognize the warning signals and to start fixing the problem.
How Is Anger Expressed in a Marriage?
Many people get angry when they face frustrations in life. Effectively managing anger in your marriage will help your relationship flourish.
Some people explode in rage when they are angry. Others find ways to disguise their frustrations and take a more passive-aggressive stance. Some people try to rationalize anger and work out some solution.
Since your spouse is the person you probably spend most of the time with, they can bear the brunt of your anger. Express your anger inappropriately, and there is going to be drama and misunderstandings.
One way to express your anger with minimum impact is to be honest and respectful, even when you are angry with your significant other. Try to focus on communicating what made you angry, and not spend too much time looking for ways to offend the other party.
Start by recognizing your anger and do something to manage your frustration in that moment. Then think about your partner's perspective and validate their thoughts and feelings. This will make them feel heard, which can de-escalate the frustration.
Remember to always clearly communicate what you need from your partner without attacking or criticizing them.
The Dangers of Mutual Anger
Venomous arguments can cause irreparable damage to your marriage. This damage includes:
Insecurity
Guilt and shame
Damage to self-esteem
Fear of being hurt
Fear of abandonment
Anxiety
Loneliness
Fear of commitment
Emotional distancing
Ultimately, mutual anger can make both spouses feel unwelcome in their own marriage. It's never about who is at fault. It's all about trying to find a working solution to keep your marriage going strong.
Dealing with Anger in Marriage
Recognizing your anger is the first step to managing it. Your best bet to avoid mutual anger in your marriage is to identify the root of the problem. Sometimes people come in a marriage with a lot of emotional baggage.
Some of the most common triggers of anger include hunger, tiredness, sadness, and anxiety. Dealing with these is a good first step in avoiding everyday frustrations.
With the above in mind, let's see what you can do about your anger in marriage.
Introspection and Understanding
The next time you are about to get frustrated with your spouse, take a moment to think if one of the above causes is actually behind your frustrations. Were you perhaps hurt in the past, and you are trying to avoid that now by lashing out?
Whatever the cause, rest assured that your spouse will feel something similar if and when you argue. Nobody can argue solo, so keep that in mind when you are about to lash out at your significant other.
Confronting the Problem
It is best not to avoid the root causes of your mutual anger. This will only cause more harm in the long run.
When dealing with marital arguments, you should be honest and direct. If something is bothering you, discuss it with your spouse and don't let it fester. It is very likely that your spouse's feelings are similar to yours.
Put the "Us" Before the "Me"
Pride and arrogance can destroy any relationship. Never forget that you and your spouse are a team. If your team faces a problem, you should strive to face it together.
Nobody lives without anger. The key here is how to deal with it without hurting your teammate.
Learn to Forgive
Sometimes it's best to just let something go. If you scrutinize someone close enough, you are bound to find countless reasons to be angry with them. That is why you should practice forgiveness for those small, unavoidable annoyances.
If something is making you angry right now, consider its impact in one, five, or ten years from now. Is it going to matter? Probably not, so let it go.
It is normal to get annoyed by our partners every now and then, but we need to make sure that we are complimenting them as well. Make sure to counteract every negative interaction with five positive ones. So, every time you say "you are annoying" there should be five compliments about the things your spouse did right, in order to maintain positivity.
Seek Help
Finally, if none of the above seems to work, don't lose hope. You can join support groups or seek professional help with your marital problems.
An expert counselor will be able to help you identify the root causes of your mutual anger and provide both you and your spouse with the tools you need to manage your everyday arguments. Perhaps one or both of you need anger management therapy, or maybe you just need a few marriage counseling sessions to get everything right.
Final Thoughts: Your Marriage Is Worth It
All emotions, positive and negative, are integral to the human experience, and arguments are a healthy part of every marriage.
If you feel like anger in marriage is threatening to damage your relationship, reach out for help. There is a way to rediscover the love, safety, and happiness that made you marry in the first place. So, don't give up.
Here at Thrive, our team of expert psychologists offer dedicated therapy to couples that are going through difficult times. We know that the first step is always the hardest, so we encourage you to reach out to us, and we will do our absolute best to help you. Contact us however you feel most comfortable, for example Whatsapp message us, or feel free to call us on +971 56 895 2347. You can also email or simply send us a query via our online form. Instagram message, Facebook chat… whatever works best for you! Our goal is to make you comfortable.
