Having a new baby alters the family dynamics, whether it is between parents, siblings, or in-laws. Many of these changes are wonderful, although some of them can be quite challenging.
For example, it is quite common for partners to experience a decrease in their relationship satisfaction during the first few years of parenthood as the new baby takes priority and each individual parent begins their own transformation. Click here to read more about the transition from partners to parents.
Similarly, many older siblings struggle with adjusting to their new role. Often, they feel jealous over losing some of their parents’ attention. This is exacerbated by the fact that new babies have very immediate needs, meaning that older siblings will regularly need to wait to have their needs and wants fulfilled.
Here are some strategies that you can use to reduce sibling jealousy:
Before the little one arrives:
Talk to them about their baby brother or sister
Read them books about becoming a big sibling
Involve them in the baby preparation, by asking them to pick out clothes and toys for the new baby
At the hospital:
Ask your guests to greet the big sibling first
Make the big sibling feel special by asking him/her to introduce the sibling to your visitors
Stay connected while you’re in the hospital with visits and video calls
When you get home:
Give them some responsibility
Have quality one-on-one time each day
Acknowledge their mixed emotions
An additional challenge is when in-law relationships become strained. Sometimes, parents are inundated with unsolicited advice. In other cases, parents struggle with grandparents breaking family rules. Research by Drs. John and Julie Gottman underscore the importance of navigating in-law issues. Specifically, couples tend to be happier when they feel that they are being supported by their partner when it comes to disagreements with in-laws. At the same time, it is important that both partners take the other person’s perspective and can see the emotional impact of the challenges.
What can you do if you require further support?
The good news is that there are small changes that we can make to improve our relationship with our partner, our older child’s relationship with the new baby, and the overall relationships between in-laws. At Thrive, we have many psychologists who can support your shift back to partners - Dr. Sarah Rasmi, Dr. Kate Prozeller, Dr. Vassiliki Simoglou, and Pashmi Khare (M.Sc.)
We also have several psychologists who can support your parenting journey - Dr. Sarah Rasmi, Dr. Vassiliki Simoglou, Pashmi Khare (M.Sc.), Maša Valkanou (M.Sc.)
In addition, we have some child psychologists who can provide additional support to your older children - Dr. Kate Prozeller, and Maša Valkanou (M.Sc.)
Finally, we can help with family therapy - Dr. Vassiliki Simoglou, Dr. Kate Prozeller, Pashmi Khare (M.Sc.), and Sonia Singhal (M.Ed., M.A., LMFT).
Call us now for more information and to let us help you adjust to your expanding family.
We are here to support you and your family.
